


i was born waiting

by fandomlife



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Episode: s05e10 The Decision Tree, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Smut, This should've happened, never forgiving the creators haha, soft, they fuck!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26146366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomlife/pseuds/fandomlife
Summary: Will angrily pays Alicia a visit after his imaginary scenario with her in 5x10 (The Decision Tree).
Relationships: Alicia Florrick & Will Gardner, Alicia Florrick/Will Gardner
Kudos: 21





	i was born waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome. This is my first Good Wife fanfic so I hope you all enjoy. I loved writing it so I might write more! This doomed ship has my heart.

“Mrs. Florrick,” he said to himself in his empty study. He was setting the scene of the court in his head, imagining every detail he could. Alicia was seated at the witness stand with her eyes trained on him. He was standing a safe distance away and staring her down. In his imagination, the courtroom was empty, it was only them, and this uncertain line of questioning. It was later he realized he decided to dress her in the outfit she wore their first night at that $7,800 presidential suite. A lovely beige dress and a matching blazer. 

“How long have you been Mr. Ashbaugh’s attorney?” He asked imaginary Alicia. If all goes to plan, she’ll respond the way he was planning it. 

Alicia locked eyes with him. “Around two years, right up until his death.” Will scribbled down her potential answer on his notepad and thought for a moment. 

“And in all that time, did Mr. Ashbaugh ever threaten to fire you as his attorney?” He wrote his question down and waited for imaginary Alicia to answer him. “No, not to my knowledge.” He wrote down for her. 

“Really? Are you certain of that?” He asked the air. 

Imaginary Alicia pursed her lips. “Well, I’m not certain of anything,” she chuckled. Will bristled at this hypothetical scenario of her _chuckling_. “But if Mr. Gardner has something more specific he’d like to ask.” 

Will thought for a minute about where to take it from there. Imaginary Alicia was just as infuriating as real Alicia and she was already throwing him off. 

“And in all that time, did Mr. Ashbaugh ever threaten to fire you as his attorney?” He rephrased his previous question, walking himself through another possible path the questioning might take. 

“No. I mean, are you talking about the thing two years ago?” Alicia replied. 

“Yes, the thing two years ago. Tell me about this-” Will shook his head. He’s questioned hundreds of witnesses before and somehow questioning Alicia proved harder than anticipated. 

“Did Mr. Ashbaugh express worries about your representation in a meeting in his New York apartment on September 23rd, 2011?” He stared at the space, placing Alicia in his line of sight. Deciding she’ll say yes, he wrote down, “ _Did he ask if you were married?_ ” To which imaginary Alicia responded with “ _Yes, he did._ ” 

“And after he asked you that, did he threaten to fire you?” He glared at the sheet of paper. 

Alicia stared back at him with her glassy eyes, her mouth in a frown. “Yes.” 

“And why did he threaten that?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“And later that night didn’t you say that Mr. Ashbaugh was in love with you?” He narrowed his eyes at her. He could practically see his reflection in her glazed over eyes. It’s always like that with Alicia. She’d either be tired, or drunk, or plainly emotionally vulnerable, and she’d look at him with her glassy hazel eyes and he’d break for her. All she had to do was stare at him. 

Will nodded to himself, satisfied with his question. “Do you want me to repeat the question?” He asked imaginary Alicia. She stared back at him, worry evident in her gaze. She paused before answering, “No. I was joking when I said that.” 

He shook his head at her hypothetical audacity. “You were joking when you said Mr. Ashbaugh was in love with you and would do anything you said? You’re saying that was a joke?” 

Will then felt his thoughts take him to uncharted territory. Instead of imagining Alicia’s witness testimony, he remembered the night two years ago during that Ashbaugh case, when Alicia revealed that bit of information. He hated when his brain did that; suddenly and without permission make him relive the few moments he had with her. It did that often, too. He’d be in court trying to focus and suddenly images of dinner with Alicia would pop in his mind. Or that time in a hotel room during “lunch”. Or all the times they spent in his apartment or in her bed. He’d be sitting across from Alicia at the conference room table and his fingers would itch to run his fingers through her soft brown hair and bring her full lips to his. 

“Don’t worry, I could get him to change his mind.” Alicia from his flashback whispered in his ear. They were making love on his Chicago apartment terrace, the city below them. She was in his lap, wrapped in bedsheets they whisked away with them. She smiled and kissed him. “He cares about me.” 

Will’s hands were cupping her waist and he looked up at her. “You have him wrapped around your finger, is that it?” He smiled up at the woman he loved. She laughed softly, “I have my ways.” She kissed him again. 

Will found himself back in reality and swallowed thickly. A lump had formed in his throat at the painful memory. What used to bring him joy now anguished him and he couldn’t help his eyes from watering or the corners of his mouth from sinking. He took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the task at hand. 

Alicia. Ashbaugh. Witness testimony. It’s not that hard. 

Images from that night flooded back. Alicia kissing him roughly. Alicia moaning in pleasure as she rode him leisurely, his face buried in her chest. Alicia making her perfect little movements and noises and bringing him over the edge. 

Alicia. 

He was angry. He tried to distance himself from the case as much as possible but the memories were too vivid to ignore. 

He stood and paced around his desk, frustrated with himself, and mad at her. This fictional version of her, this past version of her. Just, her. He brought himself back to that night on the terrace after they had come down from their highs and she was still cuddled in his arms on that chair. They stared out at the Chicago skyline as he stroked her arm absentmindedly. Her head was leaning against his, he could smell her perfume. Her short hair was messy and draping against his shoulder. 

“This is crazy romantic.” He said to her. She laughed softly and turned to whisper in his ear, “This is the happiest I’ve ever been.” 

At the time, he was ecstatic, He couldn’t believe Alicia, this larger than life woman he’s been in love with since college, told him these words in the most romantic, sensual way he could think of. All he wanted to do was make her happy. 

But if she was so happy, why did she leave him? 

Her rationale is always blurry. Either she’s worried for her kids, or she’s married, or he’s her boss, or, or, or. It’s always clumsy excuses with Alicia and he didn’t think she believed any of them. He just didn’t know what to believe. 

He swallowed and sat back in his chair. 

“Mrs. Florrick, you knew he was in love with you and you used it to get your way.” He’s now questioning in double entendres; questioning Alicia about Ashbough and about himself. She used him, just like she used Ashbaugh. It was clear as day and he couldn’t believe he didn’t catch on before. 

Alicia in his head stood silently stunned and wary. “May I remind you that you’re under oath?” He pressured her. 

She swallowed, “I didn’t intentionally use him.” 

“Not intentionally? I see. So it’s just the way you are with men.” He spat bitterly, releasing his anger at this fictional Alicia. Will could feel the tears brewing in his eyes. This was too painful. 

“No. I cared for him. I liked him.” She muttered quietly. 

“So it was alright to use him?” He asked incredulously. 

Alicia’s distressed face burned his mind. “You make it sound so simple,” she paused, “I’m married.” 

“You always use that, don’t you? _Married_. You’re conveniently married when you want to be.” Will asserted. He was mad, he was finally releasing this frustration and anger that had been inside him for years. The lines with Alicia were too blurred. 

“That’s not fair…I loved you.” She whimpered weakly. Her voice broke and broke him with her. 

Will approached the podium abruptly and slammed his hands in anger. “You made me _believe_ that so that you could steal my clients!” 

“No…Will…” Her voice cracked again and he couldn’t take it. Even seeing this imaginary Alicia in distress angered and saddened him.

“Stop that. I don’t like it when you’re weak.” 

He shut his eyes to rid his head of the image he was beginning to watch in front of him. He glanced at the clock. _11pm_. He didn’t know what to do. This pent up energy in him had him fuming. He wanted to scream about it at the top of his lungs. He wanted to talk to someone…anyone. It’s not often he realized he didn’t have any close friends. Diane? She’d just discourage him. Kalinda? She’s too close to Alicia. 

Alicia…?

Should he…go talk to Alicia?

Before he could think better of it he grabbed his coat and ran out the door. 

The drive to her apartment was fast. He was fairly certain he drove over the speed limit. The car was quiet but his ears were ringing with anticipation and anxiety. 

He parked under her building and went up the elevator. He swallowed thickly and knocked on the door, praying to every god she’s awake. She opened the door a few seconds later. 

“Will?” She looked at him surprised. She stood in the doorway hugging her white cardigan closer to her body. She was wearing purple pajamas and her face was bare. She looked breathtaking. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong?” She asked when didn’t reply. 

“Can I come in?” He asked shakily. She moved to make way for him and he entered. 

“Are the kids here?” He stood in the middle of the living room. 

“No, they’re at Peter’s. Will, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.” She paused. “Is this witness intimidation?” 

He let out a humorless laugh. “Alicia I’m not here to discuss the case with you.” He hardened the line of his mouth and stared at her. 

“Good. Why are you here, then?” She sized him up with purpose. She had grown so much since he’d hired her. The shy, self-conscious newbie is now the confident, powerful woman he sees today. He always saw her as strong and indignant, sharp, and intelligent, but seeing her flourish at the firm was something else. That was until she stabbed them in the back and took their clients.

“Why did you do it, Alicia?” 

“Again with this? I get it, Will. I’m awful and I’m the devil incarnate. Is that what you wanted to hear at midnight on a Wednesday?” She was getting heated too. She had moved closer. 

“No! I mean why did we break up? What was the reason? You’re always changing it. It’s either your kids, or Peter, or me, and it’s never one solid excuse. What is it, Alicia? Do you even believe in it?” He tried to keep his voice down so they’d remain civil but it was proving hard. 

“Will…why now?” 

“The Ashbaugh case brought back some less than pleasant memories.” He spat bitterly.

She nodded with a faraway look in her eye as if knowing exactly what he was alluding to. 

“Remember that? The happiest you’ve ever been? What load of bullshit was that? How dare you make me believe that?” 

“It was the truth, Will. You made me happy.” She lowered her voice. 

“Then why did you leave me?!” He cried in frustration. 

“It’s complicated and you know it!” 

“Of course it’s complicated, Alicia, it’s always complicated with you. It’s either endangering the kids for whatever reason. Or Peter’s career. God FORBID Peter’s career takes a dip, that whole load is on you. And the press, and the scandal. You’re always gonna be a public figure, Alicia, are you seriously willing to let people dictate how you live your whole life?” 

“I…” Alicia stared. 

“And Peter! You stay with Peter! That motherfucker treats you like shit and you always forgive him and play wife. You feel sorry and run back to him, he’s your comfort zone and you’re stuck there. Why do you hate yourself so much?” He knew he’d crossed a line. 

“Don’t you dare speak to me this way Will you have no idea what I’m going through.” Her eyes were turning that familiar glassy. He felt his anger starting to decimate and the creases of his forehead soften. She swallowed. He could see her throat bob. 

“Because we don’t _talk_. Why don’t we ever talk? I’m your friend before I’m anything else, Alicia. I’ve known you since college. I care about you.” He tried to reach for her but she backed away. 

“That’s exactly it! You care too much, Will, it’s terrifying. With you, I feel like I could do anything with no consequences. We live on a different plane of existence, away from work and family and life. I don’t know how to fit you in and it’s so scary.” She crossed her arms again and sniffed, avoiding eye contact. 

“Answer me this, Alicia, was this all a ploy? Were you scheming all along?” He swallowed thickly and left his face somber. He remembered the accusatory tone he used in his imaginary scenario. Was he bringing her to tears again?

“God no, of course not. Why would you think that? Will, there was a time when I would’ve died for you.” She frowned. 

“I was thinking about how you manipulated Ashbaugh and… I don’t know.” He felt stupid now that it was all out in the open. He finally took his coat off and sat on the couch, defeated, contemplating her words. She approached him and sat next to him. 

“Well, I object to this line of questioning.” She smiled at him. He raised one little corner of his mouth. 

“Alicia, I’m tired of having bad timing. I’m tired. I don’t want to waste time anymore. I don’t know what your situation with Peter is now but I love you and you must know that by now. I don’t know how blind you’d have to be not to realize it but I’m laying it out. I’m tired of not communicating.” He turned to her with his puppy dog eyes, the ones she’d mentioned to him before. He took her hand. 

“Alicia, I’m begging. Look,” he got off the couch and knelt in front of her, “I’m literally on my knees.” 

She laughed and he reveled in the sound he missed. He brought her hand up to his mouth and laid a chaste kiss. 

“What about work?” She asked, her eyes training on their hands. She squeezed his. 

“I’ll back off your cases if you back off mine.” He smiled and shrugged. 

“Oh yeah, I’m sure Diane and David Lee would love to hear that.” She snorted and pulled him up to sit back next to her. He shrugged again, “They’ll have to deal with it. Truth be told, the reason I was so angry when you left is that I couldn’t believe that you betrayed me. Cary, I could believe it, but you? That really hurt, Alicia.” 

She shifted uncomfortably and he held her hand tighter. “I know that I hurt you. I know that nothing I can say will change the past. But…I’m hoping that you’ll forgive me in the end. I’m hoping that I can make this right.”

He gave her a watery smile. “The past is in the past. It happened, that sucks, we’ll find a way, but I don’t want this feud to get between us personally.” He softened his voice as much as he could muster and brushed the hair out of her face. His fingers lingered on her jaw before pulling away. She cupped his face and kissed him softly. 

“Alicia, say something. Anything.” He whispered when she pulled back. 

“I love you too, you idiot. I couldn’t be more obvious.” They both laughed and ravished each other again. She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. 

“I missed you so much, it’s been hell.” He said between kisses. 

“I spend every waking minute thinking of you, it’s so embarrassing.” She chuckled self consciously as she ran her hands through his hair. “What a coincidence, so do I.” He smiled and stood up suddenly, causing her to yelp. 

“Will!” 

“Aww, come on,” he laughed. He walked them to her bedroom and sat her down. “I wasn’t planning on this being so mushy, I was livid on my way here.” He knelt in front of her again and rested his hands on her knees, looking up at her. She caressed his cheek with a feather-like touch. 

“What were you planning on doing? Coming in here and yelling at me then leaving?” She chuckled and kissed his forehead. He laughed, “I’m actually not sure, my mind was blank.” 

He stood up and leaned in as she retreated further onto the bed, leaning against her arms and staring upward at him. Will kicked off his shoes and hovered over her, knees pressed between hers. She brought her mouth to his and kissed him softly, the way she always did before things got heated. He broke the kiss to explore the expanse of her face, relearning the features he loved so much. Her high cheekbones and the lines around her eyes and mouth, signs of her graceful aging. She smiled against him and he kissed the dimple on her right cheek. 

He brought his mouth to the spot under her ear, and along with its shell, where he knew drove her wild. As soon as he kissed it, he heard her breath quicken. The pulse beneath his mouth throbbed and it took everything in him to resist leaving a mark. She moaned softly his ear and wrapped an arm around his neck to bring him closer. 

He let go—to her disappointment. He slowly took her cardigan off and discarded it, which revealed the skin of her collarbone and shoulders protected by a thin tank top. He’s always loved sinking his face in the crook of her neck and exploring every sensitive spot. He slid his mouth over her chin and kissed it, then trailed it to her jaw, the tendons of her neck, to the hollow of her clavicle. He sucked on it softly, slowly bringing her down so she’d lie back on the bed. 

She stared up at him with her bright hazel eyes and all he could see in them was content and adoration, a look he hadn’t seen in far too long. 

“I feel useless. You’re doing all the work.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him down with her. “If this is work I don’t mind doing it every day for the rest of my life.” He kissed her again, this time more roughly. “And it’s okay, I want to please you. Let me make it up to you.” He kissed an eyelid when she blinked slowly. 

“I should be the one making it up to you.” She kissed the tip of his distinct nose. He leaned back against his elbows, “Alicia, please. Let me.” He practically pleaded. She smiled and nodded against his cheek. He took the opportunity to latch onto her jaw and work his way down again. He reached the neckline of her shirt and moved away to help her take it off. He remembered the first time he took an article of clothing off of her. The presidential suite that fateful night when he spent thousands of dollars on a whim, just so he could get a taste of her for one sole hour. He would’ve died happy that night. 

Alicia didn’t have anything underneath the top, to his utter pleasure, and he quickly sank down to her chest. 

“Hey, this isn’t fair. You’re still fully clothed.” She said shyly, uncharacteristically. He smiled and sat up to take his shirt and undershirt off. He stood up and slipped out of his jeans and socks, leaving him standing in the middle of her room in his black briefs. From his position, he could see her in all her glory. Her hair was sprawled out against the pillow. Her arms were stretched out, chest flushed, waiting for him. 

He hovered over her body again and trailed his lips down her sternum to her stomach, making her shiver. Her hands were grasping at the sheets already. He reached the waistband of her pajama pants and slowly slid them off her, kissing the trail of skin revealed. Her thighs, her knees, her calves. Every inch of Alicia was ravishing. He threw them off the bed and made his way back up to kiss her. 

She reached out for him and rubbed at the expanse of his chest and arms, bringing him closer. Will slid his hands up her body, his grip firm and soft all at once. He traced the soft skin of her waist as he ghosted his lips over her ear. 

“Does Peter make your heart beat faster than I do?” He whispered before he kissed the shell of her ear. He felt her grin against him and heave in. He lowered his mouth to her left breast. He paused for a bit before licking her nipple and blowing cool air to the sensitive nub. Alicia’s breath caught in her throat, not quite managing a moan. He looked up to see her eyes squeezed shut. She ran her hands through his short hair, encouraging him. He sucked gently, doing it the way he remembered she loved. 

“I was born waiting for this. For you.” He whispered against her chest, moving to her other breast. Alicia released a sigh and kissed the top of his head before moaning at the feel of his tongue. 

“Will,” she mumbled out, “I need you.” Her breath hitched.

He looked up at her and smirked. He lowered his hips to hers and she instinctively shot hers up to meet his bulge. He leaned away and pressed her hips firmly to the mattress. She whined. 

“Patience, honey.” He chuckled and lowered his face to meet her clothed pelvis. She was wearing white cotton panties, a small damp patch stared back at him. He glanced up at her to see her blushing. He smiled and kissed the waistband of the underwear, then lowered his lips over the damp spot. He blew cold air over it. She twitched and brought her hand to his hair, keeping him there. As if he’d go anywhere else. 

He landed an open-mouthed kiss on the spot and sucked gently, causing her hips to buck into him. She moaned softly. “Will…” 

“Someone’s eager.” He teased, pulling her underwear down and discarding it. 

“This isn’t how I imagined my night was gonna go-” She was interrupted by his mouth on her naked clit. “Fuck.” She muttered. Alicia was never loud in bed, so Will reveled in the little noises she made. He revered her.

Will’s big hands encircled her hips, keeping them down. He ran his tongue over her slit and rested on her nub, giving it extra attention. He sucked gently before sliding his tongue into her folds, prodding it into her entrance. Alicia’s grip on his hair tightened as she bit her lip and sighed blissfully. 

He thumbed her clit and continued exploring her folds with his tongue, 

“Will,” she managed to say, “I’m close.” 

Suddenly Will pulled away and Alicia was exposed to the cold night air. She groaned loudly. 

“You deserve a little teasing, don’t you think?” He chuckled and hovered over her again. He caressed the tousled hair out of her face and kissed her lips. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and deepened the kiss. 

“I love you so much. Do you know that? Do you know how much I fucking love you?” He whispered against her lips before taking them in his again. She smiled against his mouth. “I might have an idea, yes.” 

His eyes bore into hers, begging her for more. He cupped her face and ran his thumb in circles on her cheek. 

“I love you too.” She whispered, kissing his nose again. 

He smiled and sat up to take his boxers off. Alicia stared at him. 

“Wow it’s really been a while hasn’t it?” She chuckled to herself and leaned back. 

“Are you ready?” He asked, leaning over her again. He raised her knees to wrap her legs around him and aligned his tip with her entrance. She nodded through bitten lips and closed her eyes as he eased himself in slowly. She breathed deeply as she got used to the stretch. He kissed her neck, her jaw, anything his lips latched onto as he waited for her. She nodded against him and he started moving, creating a slow rhythm. She moaned quietly through her open mouth and closed lids. 

“Am I going too hard on you?” He teased, referencing the time they fucked against the wall in his apartment. She laughed. “Not hard enough.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

He picked up his rhythm and went faster, angling his hips to reach her spot just right. She moaned loudly against his lips and kissed him roughly. 

“I missed you so much.” She sighed out. Her eyes glazed over and he was glad it was from pleasure now rather than anything else. 

“Me. Too.” He punctuated his words with deeper thrusts into her and she cried out. “No one compares to you.” All his rebounds came to mind. No one lived up to Alicia. He landed open-mouthed kisses wherever his mouth took him. Her cheeks, her forehead, her chin. 

“I’m close. Please, Will. Please.” She begged, staring him right in the eye. Hers were hooded and hazy. 

He thrust in a few more times and she was convulsing against him. She tightened her legs around him to bring him impossibly closer and arched her back off the bed. He brought his finger up to her mouth and she bit down with the force of her orgasm, resting back down. She took his finger in her mouth and sucked. The unexpected erotic gesture threw him off. Her full lips languidly encircled his index, her tongue lazily swirled around it, and her teeth gently grazed the skin.

“You’re killing me, Alicia.” He whispered. His movements were getting sloppy as he neared his own bliss. She laughed around his finger and that pushed him over the edge. He came inside her, bringing his lips to hers as if they were a lifeline. 

He plumped down, careful not to hurt her. She liked having his weight over her after sex. 

She hugged him against her chest and sighed deeply, content. She ran her hands through his hair as he drew circles on her skin. They sat in silence for a while before getting under the sheets and snuggling close. 

“There was also a time I would’ve died for you. Now, and as far as five years back.” He repeated her words back at her, gently stroking her shoulder. 

“Me too. I didn’t mean what I said earlier. I mean, I did, just not in that tone.” She laughed and held him tighter.

“Do you still have that beige outfit from our first night together?” 

“The dress and blazer? Yeah, why?” She looked up at him confused.

“I don’t know, I always fantasize about you in them.”

She laughed and pointed at her closet. 

“I’ll wear them again for you someday.” 

_Someday._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a kudos and comment, feedback is always appreciated :)


End file.
